Fear

What I afraid the most? Losing my precious treasure.

My mom.
My dad.
My sister.

They are my precious treasure.

For past few days, I've been living alone in this house. Didn't even try to engage physical communication except for virtual one. Day by day, the loneliness is getting stronger, you felt you wanted to talk to someone but you can't. The only way to control this loneliness is talk to anyone include strangers. Talk about some random topics, hoping to get their attention.

I've been accustomed to loneliness, being alone, doing things by myself without the help of anyone. I love to talk but at the same time I love to be alone. I remember when someone ask this question "What animal symbolize your personality?". My answer was bird. I love freedom, the feeling to do whatever I want without limitation. Bird has been associated with freedom in various way, politics , socials, religions and the list goes on.

A person like me cannot avoid the feeling of loneliness no matter how much you love to be alone rather than being with a company. Loneliness is the things that makes me sad everytime. Some people out there hates me. They hate the very existence of me. Maybe there are bad rumors about me. I don't know. I tend to avoid conflict so I try as much as I can to avoid having conversation with them, and any people associate with then. It's better to lose one person than to lose many right? So don't even bother to look for me when I decided to stay low and avoid any conversation with the likes of you.

I write when I felt sad, I write when I felt depressed. And that's what makes this blog alive, whenever I felt happy, I don't have anything to share with you guys. I don't know why.

What happened if I lose my most precious treasure? Will I be alone forever?

A.