Toshi and Hiba.

When I'm depressed, I noticed one thing.

There are 2 entities that exist inside my mind. The good one, and the bad one.

Pesan Mak.

Mak pernah pesan kat Ali,

"Be good to other, always. No matter how hard your situation right now, just be good to other, include the one who hurt you."

'You'

I've never thought that this day would come. She leaving me for good this time. She said she doesn't love me anymore.

Hurt

That moment when you feel lonely. Hurt. My heart hurts a lot. Kawan tak pernah nak dtg jumpa, and the one who always make some efford to build connection between me and them, is always myself. That hurts, a lot. I'm tired of this unwanted feeling. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired for being patients of almost 5 years. I'm tired, of everything. I've tried to build the connections, but what did I get in return? They turned away. Dying without no one know, it scared me you know? Because I'm wondering, what if I die tomorrow, would they come and visit me for the last time? Depress gila kot. Dok rumah, main game, makan, tido, gi surau. Tu je keja waktu cuti ni. Org nak stay mukah but mom won't allow it. Nak kerja pun tak dapat, nak ambik lesen moto pun tak boleh. So apa la gunanya aku hidup 22 tahun ni, but still dilayan mcm budak kecik?

I dunno whether I wanna go home the next sem break nanti.

Duduk sambil dengar "love is a lazerquest"

This thought suddenly popped in my mind.

A question.

Do we need friends?

Ini pendapat aku la.
Yep, kita perlu ada kawan dalam hidup ni.
Tak kisah la kawan tu lelaki ke perempuan,
Yang penting ada kawan.

One thing that I've learnt,
Kita tak boleh hidup sorang untuk selama lamanya.
Kalau ada malapetaka yang menimpa,
kita nak mintak tolong ngan sapa?

Dulu,
Aku ni manusia yang suka bersendirian,
Buat kerja sorang,
Jalan2 kat pasar tak ajak kawan,
Bila ada problem tak pernah nak luahkan ngan org lain,
Dan,
Aku fikir,
Lebih baik menyendiri,
Daripada menjalani kehidupan bersama sama dengan sahabat.

And then I realize,
I can't live like this,
Loner,
Rasa sedih sangat,
Dan,
Bagi aku,
Mati as a lonely person,
Sangat menakutkan,
Bayangkan,
Takde seorang pun yang tahu,
Takde seorang pun yang ziarah.

Thanks to her, I open my heart to others.

-END-

Bhep Gelap Gelita

What happen if,
She doubting you,
And always thought,
That someday,
You will leave her,
Because of another woman,
That much more nicer than her,
Much more beautiful than her,
What will you do?

To be honest,
I'm shocked.
I can't blame her for thinking liddat,
It is because of the past,
She still attached to her past,
And no one can change the past,
No one.

She said,
All men are same,
She said,
They will leave their girl sooner or later,
Because of another girl.

Yes,
I can't deny that,
Even my friend did that,
And yes,
I already convince her,
That I won't leave her,
But,
She still can't change her thought.
Yes,
I am powerless,
And I can't even convinced her.

Useless me.
Helpless me.
Pathetic me.

But,
I trust her,
I love her,
And,
I'll prove her,
That she is wrong about men,
About me.

I'll marry her someday.

In shaa Allah.

:)

-END-

Tingkap langsir biru

Pebiran. Again. Haih.

Dia.
Banyak lelaki yang jatuh cinta dengan dia,
Dan aku tak boleh nak buat apa-apa,
Aku takut suatu hari nanti,
Aku kembali menyendiri lagi.

Tapi.
Aku tetap percaya,
Kepada dia,
Dia yang aku suka.

I love the way she smile,
I love the way she talk,
I love the way she stare at me,
I love the way she walk.

I know,
The future,
Is uncertain.

But,
Have faith,
And believe,
That someday,
You and I will be together.

I'll always believe in you,
I'll always support you,
I'll always trust you.

And,
I'll always love you,
Aimi Raihana Abdul Salam.

:)

-END-

Makan nasi goreng free kat starbuck fcsit

Assalamualaikum.

Apa khabar?

Ali sihat saja.

Dah makan?

Ali tengah makan. Haha.

Post ni bukan pasal aku tengah makan nasi goreng free. Hahahahahahaha. Post ni bukan pasal "ranting of the day" jugak. Hahahahahahahahhaha. Aku rasa aku ni suka gelak. Lol.

Anyway. Saya just nak share my thought to y'all yang baca post ni. Ada ke orang yang baca post ni? Ada ke orang yang ringan tangan nak bukak blog ni? Ada ka? Macam takdak kan. Takpa. Cheq tak kisah.

So, ni soalan dia. Kenapa aku suka airport? Lapangan terbang dalam bahasa melayu. Aku sering tertanya tanya pasal ni. Aku pun rasa aneh sebab suka airport. Ada ke yang suka airport? Mungkin ada, tetapi sedikit bilangannya.

So ni mungkin sebab2 kenapa aku suka airport. Sebab2 luaran la. Aku suka tengok kapal terbang landing. Aku suka tengok kapal terbang take off. So basically, aku suka tengok kapal terbang. Haha. Aku suka gak dengar injin kapal terbang ni. I dunno why, but I like it.

So perenggan ni pulak, opinion aku melalui prespective lain. Well, kadang-kadang dalam hidup ni, orang datang dan pergi. People come and go, in many ways. And someday, orang yang kita sayang ni akan pergi gak suatu hari nanti. Tak kira besar mana pun sayang awk kat seseorang, mereka akan pergi jgk, meninggalkan awk. Macam kapal terbang, datang dan pergi, tapi ikut schedule yg dah ditetapkan, kalau manusia pulak, takde schedules, bila2 masa ja boleh datang, bila2 masa gak boleh pergi. So sementara mereka, orang yang awk sayang, masih ada, tak kira kawan, famili, bfren gfren, even musuh korang, hargai la diorang. Because of them, kita jadi orang yang tabah, orang yang bijak, orang yang berpengalaman dalam kehidupan. Tanpa diorang, your life is nothing.

Full stop, end of my opinion.

So, selamat malam.

-END-

Meja Makan Student Pavilion

Hai

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Maybe y'all notice that tajuk post ni macam pelik. Maybe korang tengah fikir, tengah agak yang aku tengah duduk, makan kat student Pavilion unimas. Kalau tajuk post nampak pelik, that's mean, this is the "rant of the day" post. Tajuk takde kaitan ngan content. So, kalau korang tak suka baca post about ranting, close button ada je kat tab browser tu. Close la, takde orang paksa ko baca post ni.

So, right now. No. Lama dah isu ni berpaut di jiwa ni. FYI, I have "trust issue". Yep. Trust issue. Aku dah letih nak percaya ngan org2 yg aku kenal. Apa lagi strangers kan. Even ngan kawan rapat. You know why? Cuz of that asshole, the most hideous ugliest asshole on Earth!! I don't even acknowledge this person as a man. He is an asshole. AN ASSHOLE. A.S.S.H.O.L.E!!!! A fucking ASSSSSSSHOOOOLEEEEE!!! The most childish person on Earth I ever met. I asked him to shut his mouth. NOOOOOO. Maybe he didn't understand what am I saying. Yea, mula dari hari tu, aku tak pernah share my deepest secret ngan org lain. Kawan. Orang yang aku sayang. Famili. I don't even share my problem, concern, a lot. I just keep it to myself. Bila dah tak tahan, I express my problem to the one that I love. I tried to move on and start to trust someone. But I can't. Share secret ngan kucing lagi bagus. For me, kucing is the most trusted companion. Haha. Ngrepak Ali, ngrepak.

Maybe korang kata "not all people are same." yea, if you're in my shoes, you'll understand. That feeling when someone betrayed you, backstab you in front of your face, you'll understand what I felt on that day. No apology for you, asshole. Sampai mati aku tak maafkan ko.

So now you know why I go solo ja bila nak makan, bila jalan gi pasar, tak ajak kawan. Well, mun sidak ajak, aku join. Mun sik, aku polah kerja sorang2. Susah kan, sbb trust issue je terpaksa pilih kawan betul2. Before that tragedy happened, saya ada banyak kawan, even strangers pun boleh jadi kawan. But now, it take times to trust everyone. Entah la. Aku ni jenis yang susah move on kot.

Chicken chop dah abis sapu. So? Ciao.

-END-

Lintasan kuning putih.

Hai.

Lama dah tak buka blog. Biasa la, aku dah ada blog baru. Tapi blog ni takde kat alam maya. Haha. Bukan diari okay. Haha.

So, kenapa tajuk blog ni lintasan kuning putih? Sebab sekarang ni aku tengah tunggu bas dekat ngan lintasan kuning putih ni. I wonder, kenapa tak putih hitam macam zebra? Entah.

So my life as student quite hard so far. Dilemma sekarang ni, nak tangguh latihan industri ke tak? Haha. Pasal assignment tu takde masalah, benda boleh settle. But, nak tangguh latihan industri ke tahun kelima, tu benda lain, yang aku tak pernah buat. I mean, pengajian aku kat unimas 4 tahun je. Nak tambah 1 tahun, you need to consider about budget tu semua. Kat mana nak cari duit? Nak kerja part time belum tentu dapat menampung pengajian tahun 5 nanti. So, sekarang ni nak concentrate on 3rd year dulu, pastu baru fikir pasal latihan industri tu semua.

Other than that, aku dah jadi student biasa macam student lain, tak pegang amanah extra macam exco pertekma tu. Tapi, still takde beza. During pertekma and after pertekma. Sama ja. Memang takdak beza. I dunno why. It's still the same. Ada student, bila aku tegur sambil sebut nama dia, dia blah camtu je, macam aku ni hantu. Haha. Nevermind. Mungkin kehadiran aku ni buat dia rasa menyampah. I dunno. Aku tak pandai nak baca hati orang. Hati orang ni bukan macam buku, boleh belek-belek camtu je pastu tau apa isi hati dia. So kalau awak terasa dengan apa yang saya taip ni, saya mintak maaf kalau saya ada buat salah ngan hang. Terguris hati ke ape. Terlebih gurau ke ape. So lain kali tegur la each other. Takkan la aku sorang je nak buat effort kan.

Okay, to another topic. Ni pasai kawan gak. Entah kenapa dia berubah. Dan gua sangat terkejut dengan decision yang dia telah buat. Unexpected langsung. I mean, dia la kawan paling baik yang pernah aku kenal. Miskin mana pun famili dia, dia tetap happy. He's a famili guy fyi. Bila jumpa dia awal sem ni, dia cerita la hidup dia so far. Aku just dengar je. Sapa la aku ni nak tegur dia kan. He's a great friend, and I know he doing it for reason. Sebab-sebab yang mungkin saya takkan paham.
I dunno why am I typing this crap and posting it on my blog. Takdak idea? Lol. Lollllllll.

Sekarang ni dalam bas, tunggu nak balik kolejku Raflesia.

Sampai sini saja.

Bye

-END-