fully paralyze mentally.

I can't study properly,
I don't eat proper meal,
I sleep less,
Too much things inside my mind,
Trashy things, good for nothing.

I'm paralyze, too much thought, and I having a hard time to decide things that need to be done.

I'm tired, I felt like I want to slam my head against the wall, so that I can stop thinking, so that I can stop remembering things in the past. I don't want to remember the past, I want all of my memories erase completely, I don't care whether it is good or bad memories, I want to erase all of it. Hatred born inside of me because of these memories. I don't want to hate people, hatred brings nothing but self destruction.I don't want to live fuel by hatred, and I rather die than living like this.