Anxious Attack

I really don't know what really happen to me recently, there's a time when I'm suddenly worried about something, chest ache, my heart suddenly pumping really fast. And because of that listed things, I easy get into this 'low mood' state. Low mood is a form of depression, but not as bad as mild or severe depression.

When I'm in a 'low mood' state, I easy get mad, sad, happy, or no mood at all. In other word, mood-swing. Maybe it happened because of anxiety.

Well, after that incident, I try to avoid certain place and people that have the potential to trigger the anxiety attack. I try to not to stay at faculty for too long, because staying there makes me thinking about her. And that trigger anxiety within me.

I try to avoid her friend, lagi2 la kawan rapat dia, I try to not to watch her face, read her name, doing things that remind me of her such as tengok movie kat pawagam and so on. Otherwise, it will trigger anxiety in me, which is bad for me because I need concentration on doing important task. How can I be able to concentrate if I'm in anxiety state?

I'm not afraid of things that revolving around her, but I'm afraid that this anxiety attack will bring back that severe depression in me. It is not my intention to avoid these things forever, and yeah, some people said that you have to face your problem in order for you to get free from that kind of things. But the question is, do you ready to face it?

I am not ready to face it. If I face it right now, I'm afraid that my condition will change from bad to worst.

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