To believe again

Sometimes believing in somethings might left you disappointed in future. I experienced it. It hurts. I slowly started to not to believe in things, even GOD. I slowly turned into a cynical person. Always second guess at everything. When shit are about to hit me, I let it be, like I don't even care anymore. I don't even care about anything.
I still admit that there is good in me, but I'm just tired. Tired of everything. This so called last semester might not be my last semester. Maybe experienced too much disappointment had left me crippled, mentally and emotionally. I missed being the old, younger me. Full of positive emotions. But now, I don't know who or what am I. I'm human obviously but what kind of human. Good or bad? I have no idea.

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You know what's the situation that really pissed me off? A fucking beggar who actually is not a real beggar but a beggar who can do shit and stuff just like me, but they are fucking too lazy to settle and solve their own shits.

You have a lot of times given by lecturer to solve your own job, your assignment, but instead you just whining there whining here because your laptop can't handle shit. Pathetic. Then you asked me for help, and obviously I help your sorry ass, you copied everything that I did, everything that I solved, I spent my bloody time try to solve that assignment. What a fucker. You know how much I hate people who just copy other people's work, especially those who pass the subject, while the other who do their work by figuring it out all by themself, fail? I experienced that shitty moment last semester. I HATE THOSE PEOPLE MORE THAN I HATE NAJIB HIMSELF.

I don't have anything to say anymore. If I get zero for my assignment, I'll fucking kill you.